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This One Thing Will Help You Accomplish Your New Year Goals

BearfruitBasics — Sun, 08 Jan 2023 22:35:02 +0000

Okay y’all, it’s January–which means new year goals and resolution planning! But let’s be honest, don’t most of them fizzle out by March or even February? We tend to start off the year so hopeful, so determined. But little by little, somehow, we lose our steam. So how do you increase your chances of keeping your new year resolution? Let me share the secret with you… Create a Vision Board! The secret to keeping your New Year goals throughout this year is to create a vision board! Now, this idea is nothing earth shattering, but it is worth taking a second look at if you have heard about it before. The bible verse that comes to mind here is Jeremiah 29:11 when the Lord says, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” I’d like to add a disclaimer here–you can create a vision board but always remember that God ultimately has a plan for you! Align your vision board with what He wants for you, and you will surely receive all of His bountiful blessings! The idea behind a vision board is being able to stay focused on what you would like to accomplish. Keep reading for some key elements when you create your vision board! Successfully Accomplish Your New Year Goals with These Steps: 1. Be Specific. When it comes to creating your vision board, be as specific as you can. For example, don’t just say “I want to lose weight,” but rather “I want to lose 20 lbs.” Putting an actual number will help you measure your results better. (In marketing, we call this a “Key Performance Indicator.”) You need to make your goals quantifiable. 2. Be Realistic. Vision boards work well if you are realistic with what is within your reach. If you want to get out of debt, for example, you can realistically budget how much you can pay. You may have credit card bills, student loans, whatever it may be, but tally up your debt and calculate something doable. To illustrate, you may not be able to knock out $70,000 of student loans in one year on a much lower income or $15k in credit cards. However, having a plan in place will allow you to see how much of that is realistically possible for you. Maybe an extra $300 a month will help you knock out $3,600 of bills. So write that specific number down so you can accomplish that goal. You know this is achievable because it is realistic. 3. Visualize What You Want. The best thing about vision boards, IMO, is that you get to cut out pictures and add them to your vision board! I remember when I wanted to re-do the kid’s bathroom in our fixer-upper house. Pinterest had beautiful examples of the exact tiles I wanted. When it was time to get the bathroom re-done, we were able to save money when the tiles I had my eye on went on sale. Not only does our bathroom look exactly what I pictured it to be, but I saved so much money because I was ready for that sale haha! 4. Place It Where You Can See It Daily. Ever heard the saying, out of sight out of mind? Well, it’s true! Studies have shown, seeing really is believing. I have my vision board hanging in my bedroom where I can see it on a daily basis. It helps me remember what I am working so hard to achieve. If your new year goals are health oriented, place it in your home where it can be your valuable reminder. Put it on a wall next to where you work out, or in the kitchen where you cook, or even next to your pantry where you prepare your meals. This will keep you focused and determined in accomplishing your new year resolution. 5. Write Your New Year Goals In The Past Tense. This one is the winner for me. Don’t write “I will buy a house” or “I will move into my new apartment this year,” but rather “I moved into my new apartment this year.” Writing in the past tense will help you claim what is already meant to be yours. Claim it, Sis! 6. Make It a Family Event. Did you know that you can increase the odds of accomplishing your new year goals with your spouse? I remember when the pandemic hit, we decided as a family it would be best for me to stay at home with the kids since school was shut down for in-person attendance. Unfortunately, this meant having to resign my marketing job. After a while without income (and our old house was giving us so, so many problems), we knew I had to return to work. At this point, I know that whatever I do needs to be a work from home job. I remember receiving in-house job offers, but because my husband and I knew exactly what we wanted, I turned them down. Then, along came the perfect opportunity, where I was able to work for a company that is fully remote, and I couldn’t be more happier! The job I have now aligns perfectly with our vision board, and I couldn’t be more grateful and thankful for my husband’s support. You don’t have to do this with your spouse, you can do it with your child, your parent, or even a best friend. The goal is to have a support system in place so your village can help you accomplish your new year resolution. The Take Away In conclusion, if you are hoping to stick to your new year goals this year, WRITE THEM DOWN! Have a fun family night, and either make one for the family or each family member can make their own! It’s important to tackle your goals together with your support system to increase the odds of being successful. Don’t forget to pray that God blesses you with the determination and self control from the holy spirit to achieve everything you set your heart’s desires on. What are some goals you have set for this year? I’m rooting for you, Sis!

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10 Realistic Ways How To Deal With Mom Guilt

BearfruitBasics — Sun, 17 Oct 2021 22:11:25 +0000

Free Yourself From The Negativity of Mom Guilt. Having children is such a remarkable blessing in life. The flip side of the coin is wondering every minute of your day if you’re doing a good job. As a mom of three, my children bring me joy–yet equally cause an inexplicable amount of mom guilt. Experiencing mom guilt means we are full of compassion, empathy, and care for our babies. For those of us who have chosen the path of motherhood and have struggled with mom guilt, here are 10 ways to help you overcome it. 1. With Mom Guilt, Know Your Feelings Are Temporary Sometimes when we are in the moment of experiencing mom guilt, we can feel like there is no end to our negative emotions. Mom guilt can be triggered by many different reasons: outside pressures of other people’s opinions, social media’s unrealistic expectations of what motherhood should look like, or even our own insecurities. It’s important to remember that your feelings of mom guilt are only temporary. Give yourself a break, and some grace. The reason you are feeling mom guilt to begin with is because it comes from a place of love for your child. We worry ourselves sick hoping the best for our children. I remember feeling mom guilt every time I had to leave my baby to go back to work and STILL feeling mom guilt years later on their first days of school. To be honest with you, maybe mom guilt is a feeling that I will forever have. But I can conclude that it’s a temporary feeling of me questioning if I am doing the best that I can. The next time you feel mom guilt rearing its ugly head, take a deep breath and interrupt that pattern of thinking with reminding yourself that it is only temporary. 2. Don’t Compare Yourself to Other Moms One of my best friends reminds me constantly that “Comparison is the thief of joy.” I’m not going to lie, sometimes I’m scrolling through my Instagram feed and see what I would consider to be “The Perfect Mom.” She stays at home, has a clean house, bakes with her adorable children, has energy to work out, and always looks fabulous in her hair and makeup. I glance at myself in my bedroom mirror and see my reflection is still in pajamas at four in the afternoon. The person glaring back at me hasn’t washed her hair in days, has bags under her eyes, and is probably having popcorn for dinner. Sometimes, the best remedy for mom guilt is to simply just give yourself a break. It’s completely acceptable to remove yourself from situations that make you feel guilty. You are allowed to say “No” to things you can not handle at the moment–especially if it’s going to end up in resentment. Unfollow the people on social media that trigger you. Protect your mental health when you are online. Try not to waste your precious energy on other people’s lives, that will just harbor resentment. And most importantly, give yourself grace. 3. Practice Self-Affirmations When You Feel Mom Guilt The first time I told myself self-affirmations, I felt downright ridiculous. A grown woman saying, “You are beautiful, you are worthy, you deserve happiness and peace,” should have made me feel powerful, but instead it made me feel a bit silly. Something that really helped me believe in what I was saying was putting God’s promises behind each affirmation. I know I am worthy because Jesus said I am. Matthew 6:26 reminds us that “We are more valuable than the birds in the air.” Zephaniah 3:17 says “The Lord your God is with you; he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing.” Remembering who we are through Christ’s eyes, and not listening to the lies of this world is key to believing your self-affirmation. 4. Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations I wanted the perfect marriage, the warm, homey kitchen, the living roomfurniture that was HGTV worthy, the home-cooked meal every day, and much more.I had so many expectations of who I should be and what I should be doing as awife and mother. But sometimes the best thing to say is, “Oh F*** it!” or the expletive of your choice. 😂 Who cares if the dishes go undone one night? Or if the laundry skips a dayor two. Something that I’ve learned to do as of late is letting go of unrealisticexpectations. It’s not realistic to have a perfect marriage. Neither is it realistic to have a clean house 24/7. Nor is it realistic to be optimistic and positive all the dang time! Setting realistic expectations for yourself will allow you to keep the mom guilt at bay by disqualifying the idealistic outlook of what your life should look like. Remember that perfection is not real. 5. Spend Some Quality Time With Your Child When mom guilt comes to us as a result of certain behaviors we do, we can correct our negative feelings by getting back in balance. If I told you I haven’t laid in bed and binge-watched Netflix for days, I would be on the next episode of Maury listening to him say “The lie detector determined…that was a lie.” Occasionally, I will coop myself up in my room for my own well-being. My best part of the day is when the lazy dog is laying down lazily, the house is quiet, and my slumbering kids are snoring in their bedrooms. Another chaotic day put to rest so we can all regain energy for the madness of tomorrow. It’s important to squeeze in some quality time with your child in the midst of it all. Remember, quality trumps quantity. If you are a working mother, some ideas are to include them in dinner preparation, watching an episode of their favorite show together, playing a game outdoors, or building with Lego. Whatever you decide to do, make sure you balance your work and family life. 6. Trust Your Gut With Finding The Root of Mom Guilt A mother’s intuition is real, and you should trust it! This article from Parent.com explains how emotions can play a key-role when it comes to decision making. For a new mother, children become their top priority: “The rise and fall of gestational hormones over the course of her pregnancy, along with the surge of oxytocin during labor and birth, prime mothers for responsiveness,” says Dr. Hrdy. “A new mother’s top priority is often to make sure her baby is safe, and she will have a low threshold for sensing anything amiss.” Although trusting your gut can be the way to go, make sure you make decisions out of a place of calmness and not operating out of fear or anxiety. Combining intuition and knowledge is a powerful tool. Ask yourself what is the root of your mom guilt–and answer truthfully. Many moms feel mom guilt for different reasons, and in order to get “over it” we must understand where the guilt is coming from and tackle it head on. Time alone with Jesus does wonders for the soul. I like to pray and read my bible for reassuring guidance to see if what my gut is telling me is really the holy spirit. Proverbs 31 is a wonderful reminder of beautiful attributes of an ideal mother. 7. Pursue Your Own Goals Mom guilt can often come around when we feel “selfish.” When your outside circle unintentionally pressures you into staying home with your kids, (even if you have other goals), we may feel mom guilt. Women all over the world have had to work twice as hard to prove that they can be both a professional and a mother at the same time. If you are ready to go back to work after having a baby or think you are ready once the kids are old enough to be in school, there is good news: kids actually benefit from having a working mom! This article from Harvard states the results of a study on working moms: “Women whose moms worked outside the home are more likely to have jobs themselves, are more likely to hold supervisory responsibility at those jobs, and earn higher wages than women whose mothers stayed home full time…” Kids are much more resilient and braver than what we give them credit for. Children want their moms to be happy, and the best version of yourself is the best mom you can give them. 8. Don’t Be Scared to Ask For Help When You Need It Mom guilt happens when sometimes we expect too much of ourselves. We need to remember to ask for help when it’s needed. This tip is easier said than done, because there are instances when we feel like we can handle it all, or we fall victim to the belief that we must be “superwoman” and handle it all ourselves. Your closest friends and family members are often willing to help you if you let them know you’re struggling or in need of some assistance. What some people may consider “small” or “no big deal” actually means the world to a mom in need. Let others know how they can help you. Asking for help can come in many different forms, such as: Asking for help can be a great way to get you out of “mom guilt ” when you realize you don’t have to do it all by yourself. 9. Surround Yourself With a Positive Support System When mom guilt sinks in, it tends to be when you are alone or cooped up in the house. One of the best ways to get over mom guilt is to surround yourself with a positive support system. It’s important to be reminded of how special you are, and a positive support system around you can validate your feelings and help you get out of your funk. 10. Talk To a Professional to Help With Mom Guilt When mom guilt seems to be weighing you down more than usual, and the usual pick-me-ups aren’t helping you shake the regular ups-and-downs of motherhood, it might be time to talk to a professional. If you are experiencing intense irritability, insomnia, loss of appetite, or difficulty bonding with your baby, it could be something more serious such as postpartum depression. Tell your doctor your symptoms, be honest, and don’t feel embarrassed or shame. Getting professional help is one step closer to getting back to your regular self and embracing this new role. The Takeaway Remember, it’s completely normal to fell the baby blues right after childbirth due to the sudden change in hormones. In addition to the tips stated above, get as much sleep as you can, ask for help when needed, and eat right and take care of your body. If symptoms become severe, please reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or a healthcare professional. If you found this article helpful, sign up for our newsletter to stay up to date on our recent blog posts and be entered to win our giveaways.

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Live Stress Free With These Top Three Tips

BearfruitBasics — Sun, 13 Dec 2020 10:49:33 +0000

Dear Stress. Let’s break up. If you want to simplify your life by creating a stress-free lifestyle, and learn how to zone in on the areas that cause major stress in your life, then this blog post is for you! Nobody wants a stressful life. The only drama I willingly invite into my life is the drama brought to me by reality TV. (Thank you, 90-day fiancé.) In other words, once the TV shuts off, I want positive karma, peaceful energy, and good vibes all around me. For example, as a mother of three, our daily lives kicked up a notch from hectic into downright chaos once COVID-19 hit. I was working full time and found myself being thrown into distance learning as my children’s new bewildered, home-schooling teacher with zero warning. It felt like everything I had worked so hard to achieve was slipping through my exhausted fingertips, for instance. My job was demanding, and I never seemed to have the energy to do anything I enjoyed anymore with my family. Burned out, strained to my limit, and completely and utterly drained, I knew I needed to make a change–and I know I wasn’t the only mom re-evaluating life in that moment. I was on a mission to simplify my life and create a more stress-free lifestyle by zoning in on areas that caused major stress in my life. Read below for my top three tips on how to simplify three areas of stress in your life to live as stress-free as possible. Tip #1: Re-Evaluate Your Work-Life Balance Firstly, balance between work life and home life is crucial in having a stress-free lifestyle. For example, a common saying is, “work to live, don’t live to work.” It’s an overused cliché for sure, but that’s because it’s true. Pause and ask yourself if you are happy with your home and life balance. I know people who LOVE working and are happy being workaholics, working into the wee hours of morning or over the weekends. They love their jobs and feel fulfilled. Conversely, I also know people who refuse to step foot in corporate America and are perfectly content doing their own thing at home. Their work might consist of being a homemaker and doing the vital job of raising a family. In either situation, it’s important to feel your best. I’m blessed with being able to balance both work life and home life over the years. As a Creative Director of my own business, I’m able to work from home (most of the time) while being at home with the kids. I’ve had numerous jobs in-house, where I’ve had very understanding employers who have agreed to my flexible hours I’ve proposed. This allows me to balance being a mom as well as being a professional and further growing in my career. See what areas of your job you are happy with, and what you wish you could change. Questions To Ask Yourself: If you answered “no” to any of the above questions, these can be potential areas of stress. How can we fix this? Simple. Look for solutions for your specific problem. One of my best friend’s favorite saying is “Closed Mouths Don’t Get Fed.” What did she mean by this? Ask. Speak Up! Ask for a raise if you feel like you deserve one. Discuss your job duties and whether you need more–or less. Re-visit your work schedule with your employer to see if they are willing and able to accommodate any changes. Establish boundaries and have the courage to speak up for yourself. If you’re not happy with your job, find a new one. Similarly, take a break if you can financially afford to do so. Get your priorities in order and work towards finding the balance you need. Make Sure Your Job Does Not Interfere With Your Home Life. Set limits to make sure you have enough time to do the things you enjoy, such as: When it comes to work and life balance, only you know what is right for your life. Find what makes you happy, and then strive to accomplish just that. Tip #2: Prioritize Your Mental and Physical Health Secondly, there’s no secret that stress can take a toll on us, both mentally and physically. By focusing on ourselves, we can make sure we are in the best shape of our lives. Ever notice when you are traveling on a plane and they tell you to place your mask on first before assisting others? That’s because you cannot take care of someone else without taking care of yourself first! I used to feel selfish for wanting alone time, or needing a break from my children. Re-learning the definition of self-love, I had to train my mind not to think of it as being selfish. There are many ways you can create a stress-free environment to protect your physical and mental wellbeing. Here Are Some Ways You Can Create a Stress-Free Environment These are just some ideas for you to feel physically and mentally healthy. Most importantly, make sure you make it a priority to put yourself first. Tip #3: Focus on the Good Finally, my last tip to help you live a more stress-free life is to focus on the good. Have you heard of Murphy’s law? In case you’re not familiar, it states “Anything that can go wrong will go wrong.” If you always look for the bad in something, I guarantee you, you’ll find it. This world is beautifully flawed. I challenge you to change your perspective and see the good in everything. Because if you always look for the good in something, it is equally so that you will find there is good in everything also. It can be difficult to see the good in things when it seems like nothing is going according to plan. When you and your significant other break up, or when the job you love lets you go suddenly. When a close relative dies tragically, or when an astronomical bill hits you unexpectedly. What Helps Me See the Good in Things Is Asking a Series of Questions: One of my favorite bible verses is Romans 8:28 that says “All things work together for good to them that love God.” I have faith knowing that whatever I’m going through–no matter how painful it may seem at the time–is something that God will use for my good. Every heartache, every cruel life lesson has made me the person I am today. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not encouraging you to pretend to be happy. Toxic positivity isn’t helpful either. If you are feeling angry, sad, or stressed, you can absolutely cry it out, grieve, or even vent. But here is the important part: When you are done feeling your emotions, and you allow yourself to “feel ALL the feels”, it’s important to turn the page–however long that might take you. Once you are ready to move on, this is the place where you try to find the good. By focusing on the good, I believe you can find the peace needed to live a stress-free life. By re-aligning my priorities and focusing on work-life balance, taking care of my mental and physical health, and most prominently, seeing the good in every situation, I’ve been able to lower my anxiety and stay on a path to a more stress-free, relaxed way of living. What are some ways you de-stress or create peace in your life? Comment below, I’d love to hear them. Stay connected with Bearfruit Basics by following us on instagram and signing up for our newsletter!

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